Category Archives: Stop Press!

The End. The Flap. The Interview.

Good morning, my freaky darling. My kinky miscreants.

I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is, I’m doing an interview! With SJ! The bad news is, this’ll be the last blog post. The good news: There’ll be a new one! You see, the Just Adult Blog site is almost up and running, so we’ll be doing the blogging thing on that site instead. This will mean a whole new blog, a new name, new writers, new content. We’re doing this because the Just-Kinky site is almost ready to open again, and will have a new logo, just as the JE will have a new theme and logo. Not only this, but the story site will be taking new submissions and publishing them. We’re also currently half way through transferring all the old stories, and we’ll be finished with that at some point in the near future. So, really, this blog can’t do all of that justice, and thus the move over to the JAB site. And, remember, that for all these sites you only have to register one, and that one log in will work for all three sites.

Throughout my time on this blog I have worked hard to avoid doing one thing, something I view as quite heinous. I’ve attempted to avoid nepotism. I’ve strived to be as neutral as possible, and I think I’ve succeeded (apart from a time or two where it was suggested to me that I do a post that allows me to divulge my nepotistic side). This post, however, is very special, and I thought I’d give in and just embrace it. So this post is dedicated to my wonderful SJ, author of the blog SJ’s Journey. I was lucky enough to sit down with her for an interview, where we talk about her blog. So, without further ado, here it is, smilies and all.

JV: Okay, well, let me start with the first question (because it’d be wholly revolutionary to start with the second question). Are you wearing any panties?

SJ: Ha! At this precise moment? No, I’m not. First thing I did after walking home was change, and the panties were discarded with quite a gleeful flourish. It was hot, you know.
JV: *Checks* I’m afraid it feels quite hot, down there.

SJ: The weather, I mean. You know, summer.

JV: *Looks outside, at the overcast sky and wind-blown tree* Yes. Summer. Ahem. So, let’s start (for the second time) with a bit of history. How did you get into blogging?

SJ: Oh. Goodness that requires some remembering. Well, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, and posting stories and poems to websites for … 7 years or so, I guess. A few years ago I was a regular visitor to an erotic blog written by a British fellow, and I used to correspond with him quite a lot and discuss his blog. That was when I had my first thoughts of trying my own blog, but I was far too much a scaredy cat to make it happen.
JV: So what changed?
SJ: Jules. She’s a bossy fuckin’ thing, isn’t she? The idea was always in the back of my mind, and after a while Jules brought it to the front again.
JV: Ah, yes. I’m reminded of another time she brought something else to the forefront.
SJ: *Raises eyebrow*
JV: Your tush picture.
SJ: Ah. Yes. I remember that.
JV: Hard not to. I remember her plugging your bum on the JK forum.
SJ: I remember that too. Damned position. Position? Damned television making me write position when I meant petition.

JV: Maybe you should turn over to a less subliminally suggestive TV channel.

SJ: No. 😀
JV: :P. [Back on the topic of blogging] My understanding is that you were hesitant to do it. Could you elaborate on your thoughts, feelings on the matter?
SJ: Fear of commitment. Starting a blog would mean being committed to producing a piece of writing to publish regularly. And not only something to publish, something GOOD to publish. Something interesting, thought-provoking, or erection inducing. Part of me worried that I might expose myself as a terrible writing fraud, with cliché ideas that dried up after a few weeks.
JV: You didn’t, though.
SJ: I didn’t. I still have the same fear though. Every time a post something new I fly into a mild panic about how it may be received and whether it’s good enough. I don’t want to post for the sake of it, or bombard people all the time with stuff they don’t care about. I don’t want to be that person. So I still worry that I may become boring to people, even though I try very hard not to!
JV: Trust me, you succeeded. Something you said intrigued me: ‘or bombard people all the time with stuff they don’t care about’. Surely the advantage of a blog is that you can write about what you care about, regardless of what your readers think?
SJ: Definitely. The first person you should write for is you, I firmly believe that. However, if you take that writing to a public forum, and ask people to read it, then you do need to consider them. Once you take it to that forum, you are in part writing for an audience. If it were solely for your own pleasure, your private journal would suffice, no? 🙂
JV: Indeed. Let’s talk about content. You do stories, poems, talk about your own personal life, and do toy reviews.
SJ: I do yes I do!
JV: What is it you enjoy writing (about) the most? Do you have preferences?
SJ: Well, the research leading up to toy reviews is especially enjoyable …
JV: I’ll bet. Actually, since I’m sometimes privy to the research, I can vouch for that.
SJ: *Blushes* I like when you help me research.

JV: As do I 😉 

SJ: But the writing that I enjoy the most, just for writing, I’d have to say stories.

JV Howzat?
SJ: Stories are something different. They take on a life of their own, and I find myself immersed within them as I write. There’s this wonderful air of mystery, because I don’t really know where they’re going, or who my characters will be. It’s exciting to find that out.
JV: Tell me about your current story.
SJ: Oh, I couldn’t possibly. It’s a secret. *Shifty eyes.*
JV: *Pouts*
SJ: *Kisses your pouting lips* Top secret. National security, you understand.
JV: Well, could you at least give me a brief summary of what has transpired in this series of stories so far? Explain – as much as you can – what it is?
SJ: The Confessions series?
JV: Yes.
SJ: It’s a series of short stories following the personal life of a young woman who prefers casual relationships over long term committed ones. She’s a busy woman, she hasn’t the time, energy or inclination to commit to a relationship, but she’s also a very sexual person and unwilling to ignore those needs.

There’s a mix of fiction, fantasy, and my own experiences within the stories and within the main character, which I am having a lot of fun with. I’m using her, and her way of living to explore sexuality in society- what’s acceptable and what’s not, why that differs for certain people in society and how our choices affect us. At the beginning, she’s not a very sympathetic character, but as I write more, we begin to see more than just her sexual practices, and understand her a little more. I hope. That’s the plan anyway. And, of course, it’s about hot steamy sex. ‘Cause I like the hot and steamy sex. Very much. Ummm. Have I bored you to sleep?

JV: 🙂 Nope. I’m here. Wide awake. Surfing eBay, but wide awake.
SJ: lol

JV: I want to discuss your sex toy reviews, because that’s a relatively new thing.
SJ: Mmm-hmmm.
JV: I was hoping for more than Mmm-hmmm.
SJ: *Giggle* Is it new? I can’t remember when I posted my first one.
JV: The first was Ina.
SJ: Ah, sweet Ina. She’s a keeper.
JV: She is indeed. How did you start? Maybe a better question would be why did you start?
SJ: I think I sort of fell into it. I was finally rebuilding my toy collection after an ex threw my stuff out in a fit of anger a long while before, and I was really very excited to be doing so. I always enjoyed toys, though I lamented the fact many of them were not very nice to look at, or seemed … tacky. So when I ordered Ina, one of the first building blocks in my new collection, I was thrilled. She was a toy that was special; sleek and beautiful with great features to boot. I wanted to shout it to the world, that I had discovered what sex toys for women should be. Also, I wanted to brag: Ha ha! Look what I have! Weeeeee!
JV: *Snorts* I may discard that long paragraph, in favour of that last bit. Just so you know.

SJ: Ha ha.
JV: What? It’s more you.
SJ: Guess so.
JV: And things just kind of snowballed. Ina good way.
SJ: *Snigger* Yes, they did. I started doing a review for every new thing I got. It was fun! And people seemed to be interested, because they not only got all the techy details but an idea of the more … personal side of a toy review. Plus, I had an excuse to have more orgasms. Woo!
JV: *Shakes head, smiling* And then you did some for EF [EdenFantasys], too.
SJ: Yes, and another company too. I danced all about the house singing (badly) about how wonderful I am.
JV: Go on.
SJ: Free toys. Did you hear me? Free. Toys. FREE FRICKING TOYS! They were going to give me a toy, for FREE and all I had to do was what I had been doing all along anyway, and throw in a few links to their site. And the toys were free. Make a note of that.
JV: *Makes a note*
SJ: Essentially they sent me a list of products, I selected three or so, and they would send me one of those three to write about.
JV: This is EF or the other site you’re talking about?
SJ: The other site. But then EF got in on the act too. I was a bit of a slut, whoring my blog out to any company willing to give me free toys.
JV: Well, who can blame you? They’re free toys, after all.
SJ: FREE! And all mine! Mine! Mwahahahahahahhah
JV: 😀
SJ: I enjoy doing the reviews, and it seems people enjoy reading them. I’ll do them until I bore of it … which I cannot see happening in the near future. I’m going to investigate buying my domain name, so I can be free to run my blog as I please.
JV: That’s a very good idea. Do you have much to tell about that, or is it more a case of vague unformed (as yet) ideas?
SJ: Let’s just say I am researching my options and considering what I can to do improve my blog. I am of course open to ideas.
JV: And open to other things, too?
SJ: Oh yes, yes indeed.
JV: Good. What about in the future? Are you looking forward to any toys coming your way?
SJ: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! Oh gee golly whiz hell yes!
JV: I think that means you’re excited.
SJ: On December 28th I placed an order as a Christmas present to me. By some miracle I had money left over at the end of my pay period, and so I promptly set about looking at ways to spend it. A few days earlier I had spotted a new toy by a company I had not heard of. I fell in love .. so much so I actually dreamt of it that night. I also spotted a second toy that looked quite marvellous, so I bookmarked them, because I first wanted to ask a certain someone’s opinion …
JV: Oh? Whose?
SJ: My imaginary friend Freddy.
JV: Ah, yes. Freddy. I’ve seen him about, hanging out with Charlie the imaginary ghost.
SJ: Anyhoozelbees, they are in transit and I am giddy with excitement. I am hopeful for them to be here tomorrow, but definitely by end of week. If not, I shall be complaining loudly.
JV: (Yay!) I’m looking forward to reading about them. And seeing you play with them. [Post-interview edit: the toys have arrived, so you can look forward to some colourful reviews, readers!] In your blog you talk about, well, you. Do you have a problem with sharing some aspects of your life? Be they the sexual bits, or the non-sexual personal bits?
SJ: When I started the blog I had every intention of being completely open and honest and writing everything I felt like. I was excited about the freedom anonymity gave me. But it hasn’t turned out like that. I’m not anonymous, not really. A lot of my readers are people I have chatted to online for a long time, and there are several of whom I know in ‘real life’. And to be quite honest, even if I had perfect anonymity, I think I would still hold back the more personal things. It’s not me to throw it all out there, to lay myself bare. There are pieces of me, little bits of my soul in my blog because they are in my writing and I cannot avoid that. but for the most part I guard it, much like in the outside world.
JV: I can understand that. Do you think you ever could let go? Let your guard down?
SJ: On my blog? A little at a time. When I post a poem, that tends to be very unguarded. I think I am more likely to reveal myself in stories and poems than in a blog post talking to my readers.
JV: Fascinating. Why are you unguarded in poems? What is it about them that gives you that chance? Or do you choose to be so in poems specifically?
SJ: Poetry is not a choice for me. I bottle things up, that’s how I was raised. We do not show emotion, SJ, and most certainly not in public. Keep it to yourself. My poetry is the result of bottling one too many things.
JV Go on.
SJ: Poetry is that moment when what I am feeling, or what I have refused to feel, takes over. It’s not a thought process, the way stories are. There’s no going back to re-write or edit, I don’t stop and re-read constantly. It flows from me … quite often it feels like it is ripped from me, if the emotion is particularly strong … and writing it releases me from the hold that feeling has on me. Does that make sense?
JV: It does. And thank you for speaking so openly about it.
SJ: Ahem. You’re welcome.

JV: What else, if you have anything planned, can we look forward to from your blog?

SJ: A ‘lift the flap’ edition! Not really. But I do love ‘lift the flap’ books, and the term could be amusingly dirty on my blog.
JV: *Rolls eyes*
SJ: Except computer screens, they no have the flaps, you see?
JV: Well, you can get an accessory for iPads that offer you a flap.
SJ: My blog is not an iPad. I’ve been pondering what I might try next on my blog, but to be quite honest I can’t stop thinking about that package [sitting on the bed, as I edit this, being a numpty, causing troubles with the adapter and chargers – but there’ll be a blog about that from SJ, soon], and the fun I shall have in opening it and reviewing the things inside! I do have some new stories coming up, too, and I am hopeful of perhaps getting a guest poster, just for fun. 🙂
JV: Oh? Do you have anyone in mind for this guest poster?
SJ: Perhaps I do.
JV: Can you tell me?
SJ: No! Is a secret.
JV: 😦 Is it someone I know?
SJ: 🙂 It may be.
JV: Gah! I want to know!
SJ: *Chuckles mischievously*
JV: You’re mean!
SJ: I know.
JV: Hmph.

And this concludes the interview. I’d like to thank my dear, lovely, sublime SJ for taking the time to answer my rather mundane questions with riveting answers.

That’s it, it’s over now. I hope you enjoyed the interview, and the blog as a whole.

This is JV – signing off.


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Filed under Author's Spotlight, Events, Final Thought, Juicy News, Latest Titbits, Saucy Gossip, Stop Press!

Jingle Balls!

Good morning, my kinky darlings!

Today I must convey a very important message: It is Movember! No, that’s isn’t a misspelling. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, where women – and men. Don’t forget that men can get breast cancer, too – all over the world touch themselves inappropriately, in order to find out errant lumps that shouldn’t be there. Now, November is the month dedicated to men touching themselves up, and having doctors poke things up their rear end, all in order to ensure physical health. Now, Movember is a movement, carried out all over the world, where men grow out a moustache in support of this. From the Movember UK wesbite:

On Movember 1st, guys register at with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health. 

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.  

Movember – a global movement
Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne Australia, Movember has grown to become a truly global movement inspiring more than 1.1 Million Mo Bros and Mo Sistas to participate, with formal campaigns in Australia, New Zealand, the US, Canada, the UK, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, South Africa and Ireland. In addition, Movember is aware of Mo Bros and Mo Sistas supporting the campaign and men’s health cause right across the globe, from Russia to Dubai, Hong Kong to Antarctica, Rio de Janeiro to Mumbai, and everywhere in between.

No matter the country or city, Movember will continue to work to change established habits and attitudes men have about their health, to educate men about the health risks they face, getting them to act on that knowledge thereby increasing the chances of early detection, diagnosis and effective treatment. 

In 2010, over 112,000 UK Mo Bros and Mo Sistas got on board, raising £11.7 million.

Big steps have been taken towards changing attitudes and habits relating to men’s health around the world but there is still much to be done to catch up with the women’s health movement. Via the moustache, Movember aims to fulfill its vision of having an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health, by continuing to spark conversation and spread awareness of men’s health each year. (You can also go to the site and click on their About page for further information on the charities and research projects they fund.)

I cannot stress enough how important this movement is. Unlike breast cancer, only men can get prostate cancer, as this walnut-sized gland is found only in men. So, too, for testicles. Unfortunately, you cannot test yourself for prostate cancer, so I can’t write much here. You have to see your doctor, who will insert a lubricated finger up your sweet derriere, as well as perform several tests. That is to say, the inserting of a finger will also be a test. Felt the need to clarify that. But the good news is, it’s worth it. If found in time, it is, in most cases, very treatable. So buck up, men. Swallow that pride. Grow some balls. It’s worth it.

Luckily, you can test yourself for testicular cancer, because it is, primarily, a young man’s disease. Those aged between 15 and 35 are most at risk (thanks to Channel 4 for having a video on this subject, which you can view here, or carry on reading, and I’ll transcribe what the slightly scary doctor woman says). You should be checking your balls around once a month, but sadly less than one in five do. The best time to check is during or after a hot bath or shower, when the muscles are relaxed, and the balls hang lower. Presumably when they waddle to and fro. Now, I’ll do this in list-point form, because it’s easier to read, and makes me look 40% smarter.

  • Rest your testicles in the palm of your hand (hand flat, palm up) like a weighing scale, comparing one testicle with the other for equal heaviness.
  • It is normal for one testicle to be larger, or hang lower than the other. If you’re a regular masturbator, you’re probably used to them looking and feeling different. This is normal
  • At the back of the testicle is a thickening, and this is called the epididymis (luckily, spelling it isn’t necessary in the ball-test) which is the tube that carries your sperm to your penis, so cup your balls, palm covering the front, the back hand facing forwards, and fingers dipping down, under and to the back. This tube is tender, so be gentle. With your fingers behind the scrotum, place your thumb on the front of your balls and gently roll the balls between thumb and fingers.
  • You are feeling for small hard lumps, enlargement of the testicles, or firmness. A normal testicle feels oval-shaped and firm, but not hard.
Most testicular cancers are diagnosed by feeling a painless hard lump on the testicle, but there are other signs: look out for pain or discomfort in your scrotum or testicles; a heavy or dragging feels in your scrotum; a dull ache in the lower stomach or groin area; a build up of fluid inside your scrotum; blood in your sperm upon ejaculation; discharge from your penis. These are all signs for this cancer, and are symptoms for other things, but either way they shouldn’t be ignored. This doctor from this video tells me that, upon finding these things, you should, firstly, call your doctor immediately, and secondly, stay calm. Now, I know that second thing is highly unlikely. This is one of man’s worst fears. It’s certainly one of my worst fears. It’s an attack on our own masculinity, and staying calm is not easy. But please don’t let that fear stop you from calling a doctor. You may think that it’s probably nothing. It might be nothing (and is very likely to be nothing more than swelling from an injury or non-cancerous infection), but if you’re looking up on the internet how to test yourself for testicular cancer, then you’re most likely not qualified to make that call, and should see a doctor immediately. That sounds harsh. But … it’s true. Even I didn’t know how to examine myself until I looked it up just now, and I write a freakin’ sex blog! The woman with the scary eyes yet hopefully warm hands agrees. And I wrote that before I’d even got to that part!

Testicular cancer has more than doubled in the last twenty years, but it is one of the easiest to treat. Over 95% of cases are curable – if found early.

Alternatively, if you have a particularly amorous partner, you can always ask her/him to do this test for you. And, in return, you can perform checks for her/him, too! This concludes your school lessons, now, children. Go forth, and fondle! Go and start your Christmas cheer early by jingling your balls! Even if you don’t want to grow a moustache for Movember (after all, facial hair is just so in your face), please make sure you check yourself.
This is JV – signing off.
If you have any thoughts on this post, feel free to post a comment, or join the JE to have your say! If you have a topic you think is worth covering, then you can leave a comment here, or on the JE, too.


Filed under Stop Press!

The Queen Is Dead. Long Live The Queen!

Good morning my kinky darlings!

Only a brief post today, and one that I write with a heavy heart: is dead.

But not gone. Certainly not forgotten and most definitely not buried. After server issues , the site has been shut down. However, most importantly, it’s only temporary (we’re currently moving servers, and the JK should be up in a day or so. Ish!). Too, our hero of the hour, Signs, managed to save all our data before the closing so that, when things are sorted out, it (in one form or another) will be able to come back, good as new.

But don’t fret, for we at the JK are not missing a beat. As I write this, our admin are working tirelessly to bring up another site, our sister site: (Be sure it’s .com when you type that in). And by the time this post is published – by the time you’re reading this – that site will be up and running.

I admit that it’s unfinished, but the essence of it – our forum and our story section – will be/are usable. Things will be ironed out as we go, but any bugs or problems, feel free to report them and they’ll be fixed as soon as possible. There will be other sites later down the line, and once you sign up to one you can log into them all – but for now we’re just putting up

So welcome to the Just-Erotica blog!

That’s all for now. Take care, everyone. If there are any further developments beyond what’s been stated, we’ll post it here, so if you’re not subscribed, be sure to check back every so often!

This is JV, of the JK and JE – signing off.

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Them’s The Rules…Now Spread ‘Em!

Good morning, my fellow kinky miscreants!

An interesting thought occurred to me – yes, I do have interesting thoughts and, no, you don’t have to run for the hills, don protective gear and check the weather reports to see if hell’s frozen over – the other day, while writing the last blog, Them’s The Rules. You see, we get a fair few new members who are just starting out in the life style, or even those who’ve had to abandon the life style and wish to return in glorious fashion. And what better way than arse-backwards? Yep, drop trow and take a bow, spread your legs and brace yourselves. It’s time for your introduction to various body parts and various toys.

No, not really. You see, my interesting thought was that, while the last one was an all-encompassing one, it had leanings toward the Dom side of the matter. So I had the thought that I should write one aimed at the subs of the world. No, I’m not talking about nuclear wessels, but submissives. Unfortunately, I have not the requisite knowledge, nor experience, to deliver the goods, so I recruited one of the more well-loved members of the JK, and that would be the saucy SJ – who recently decided* to take a photo of her sweet tush and post it for us all to see. *Okay, she didn’t decide, there was a petition going round and she was somewhat cajoled into it – who takes the reins of this particular blog post. So, without further ado and procrastination, here are her tips:

Great Googamoosh, could they be more pronounced?

Tell me you didn’t see that coming?! Well, they are a great set of tips. But here are SJ’s: 

There is no thing as a “true” submissive. There are no strict rules or guidelines or traits. It’s a part of who you are and it’s different for everyone.

Quite correct. According to one article, there are 9 types, or levels of being a sub (though, as SJ says, no one is ever the same, so there’s most likely a bit of mixing and matching going on): 

1.THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST.Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms and for the masochist’s own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely/mainly by one’s own bodily sensations rather than by being “used” to gratify one’s partner’s sadism).
2.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Not into even playing “slave,” but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g. schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestitism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
3.PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; may in some cases like to feel one is being “used” to gratify partner’s sadism; may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
4.TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE. Really gives up control (only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission other than serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seek mainly her/his own direct/pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
5.TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE. Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving/being used by dominant-but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May/may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys being the object of one’s partner’s sadism, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.
6.UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE. Really gives up control (usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have long-term relationship with one’s Mistress, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when she will serve.
7.PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE. Has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant’s property at all times. Wants to obey and please dom(me) in all aspects of life-practical/non erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job) but Dom(me) has first pick of the slave’s free time.
8.FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE. Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/himself as existing solely for the Dom(me)’s pleasure/well-being. Slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially of the slave is male. Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude carefully, with more awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
9.CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS. A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn’t exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom(me), with no limits at all. I’ve met a few people who claimed to be no-limit slaves, but in all cases I have reason to doubt the claim. Okay, sorry, I’ll shut up now and let the expert talk!

– Try to understand what your own needs are – what you are looking for and what you don’t want. Be true to your needs, and to yourself.

– Anyone can call themselves a Dom/me. The truth of it is in their actions and attitude. Trust is earned – don’t give it freely to just anyone. 

– Know your limits and make sure anyone you play with understands them.

– Submissive doesn’t mean you are a doormat – you can say no and ask questions.

– No one knows everything no sub or Dom/me. Everyone is constantly learning, and if they say they’re not, they’re numpties. 

– Pain is not for everyone, don’t feel like you have to enjoy it – or anything for that matter.

So there you have it, folks. A few guide lines which should put to rest some myths about the life style, and help you on the right track to being a sub!

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