Good morning, My kinky miscreants!
It’s now December the something or rather (note to editor: change this to the date of publication) and I don’t know about you, but it’s certainly feeling a lot like Christmas! The town decorations are put up and lit; the Coca Cola truck makes its rounds (and in one case tells a little girl she’s on the Naughty List. Ironically, this is something a good few adults later aspire to); you buy your Christmas trees and bottle of fake snow; and get a light vajazzling.
I’m sorry, what? If you’re not familiar with such a term, vajazzling is the act of placing little diamonds and/or glitter on to your nether regions for aesthetic purposes. Vajazzling has sky-rocketed after high-profile actresses – most notably Jennifer Love Hewitt – commented that they’ve had some vajazzle work, as well as it being at the forefront of one scripted reality show. My dear SJ brought this topic to my attention, for the use on this here blog. Now, here at FOTB we (meaning me) try to be as neutral and accepting of other people’s wants and desires in mind. So having said that: Are you freakin’ nuts?! Ahem. What I meant to say was … Are you nuts? I’m sorry, I just don’t see the appeal. It’s fine if you, whomever you are, do. That’s absolutely fine. But it does mean I’ll have to terminate our friendship contract! But as SJ and I talked about this, it spiralled into the wider topic of sex trends at large.
So what others are there? Well, for vajazzling (not sure if this is the correct word, since I’m not familiar with its different grammatical forms) to be applied, the vagina (I refuse to call it ‘the vajajay’) must be fully waxed (so no vajazzling the Landing Strip)- this, as I’m sure you know, is called a ‘full Brazilian’. Interestingly, there is evidence, according to wikipedia, of this type of waxing going back to 1500 AD, with Pero Vaz de Caminha writing ‘their private parts were so exposed, so healthy and so hairless, that looking upon them we felt no shame’. Which, even taking away the surprising fact that this has been going on for 500 years, is quite interesting. That they felt no shame? Maybe it’s not the actual vagina that people got so hung up on, all those years, but just the hair? Maybe if everyone had shaved their pubic areas, then there’d have been no sexual oppression at all? I think I just solved two thousand years of cultural debate. But what were these Spanish explorers doing that they were looking upon a woman’s hoohoo – and apparently, several women’s hoohoos? That’s what I want to know. But I do understand the lack of shame. As I look on the wikipedia page for bikini waxing, I’m very thankful that I can look upon several women’s vaginas and say I’m merely researching. What’s that, officer? I’m not allowed to look at porn in public? Well, of course I can’t. I’m merely researching the history of female grooming. It’s very important for my research into the philosophical debate on sexual awareness and our coming to terms with our sexual heritage. Suck it.
But I’m also surprised as to the different varieties. A lot of these I knew about, and had seen up close at one point, but I never knew someone had taken the time to classify them. Too, it’s apparently different depending on which country you’re in. Such as:
- American waxing is the removal of only the pubic hair that is exposed by a swimsuit, depending on the style of the swimsuit. For a bikini, it would be hair at the top of the thighs and under the navel. It is also known as a basic bikini wax, or a bikini line wax.
- French waxing leaves a vertical strip in front (sometimes called a landing strip), two to three finger-widths long just above the vulva, and 4 cm (1½ inches) wide. It is also known as a partial Brazilian wax. Hair of the peri-anal area and labia may be removed. Removal of hair from these areas is also known as the Playboy wax or G-waxing. The landing strip wax has become popular with models who must wear garments of an extreme narrowness in the crotch region.
- Brazilian waxing is the most known of bikini waxes, and involves the removal of all hair in the pelvic area, front and back, while sometimes leaving a thin strip of hair on the pubis.It can be used by those who wear thong bikinis. It is a form of bikini waxing, and involves the complete removal of hair from the buttocks and adjacent to the anus, perineum and vulva (labia majora and mons pubis). If a thin vertical strip of hair is left, it may be called a landing strip. Brazilian waxing is also known as a full Brazilian wax, full Bikini wax, Hollywood wax or the Sphinx. The Sphinx variety involves the complete removal of all hair in the pelvic region. The name is derived from that of a naked breed of cat from Canada. The smooth-skinned, hairless Sphynx cat was a genetic oddity discovered in Toronto in 1966. Some salons refer to the Sphynx as the Hollywood.
- Some women trim, but keep hair on their labia, while removing the pubic hair on the mons pubis.
- The Bikini Line: This is the least extreme form. All pubic hair covered by the bikini is left in place. Only straggling hairs on either side are removed, so that none is visible when a bikini with high-cut sides is being worn.
- The Full Bikini: Only a small amount of hair is left, on the Mound of Venus (the mons pubis)
- The European: All pubic hair is removed “except for a small patch on the mound”.
- The Triangle: All pubic hair is removed except for a sharply trimmed triangle with the central, lower point aimed at the top of the genitals. It has been described as “an arrowhead pointing the way to pleasure”.
- The Moustache: Everything is removed except for a wide, rectangular patch just above the hood at the top of the genital slit. This is sometimes called “The Hitler’s Moustache”, sometimes “Chaplin’s Moustache”.
- The Heart: The main pubic tuft is shaped into a heart symbol and may be dyed pink. This is a popular style for St. Valentine’s Day, presented as an erotic surprise to a sexual partner.
- The Landing Strip: A cultivated pubic hair pattern in which the hair is trimmed to a narrow vertical strip or rectangle, and all other pubic hair is removed. The landing strip starts from anywhere between the natural pubic hairline to within two inches from the top of the vulva, and ends just above the clitoris.
- The Playboy Strip: Everything is removed except for a long, narrow rectangle of hair, 4 cm (1½ inches) wide.