This Could Get Sticky

Good morning, my freaky darlings!

Hello, and it is time, once again, for our Story of the Month blog! Yes, I realise that I write these every month, but I’m afraid I must, for the calendar would insist being made up of consecutive months. Honestly, how very rude of it! You get so used to June, all fine and fancy and full of the promise summer, and then along comes July – and actual summer! Really, why must it be so hot? I’m British, and as such not made for hot weather. I have webbed hands, for crying out loud! I was born with a raincoat on!

This week I bring to you the story Anticipation (Part 1) by Cuddlekitty. Now, instead of doing it in my usual way, I thought I’d change things up a bit. So I decided I would do an interview. No, not an interview of Cuddlekitty, the author. That would be too easy. No, I’m going to interview Thomas Marrick, one of the main characters in the story:

Me: So, Dick-

Thomas: My name’s Thomas. Most people call me Tom.

Me: I was close. It was bound to be either Tom, Dick or Harry. So, Harry-

Tom: It’s Tom.

Me: Whatever. No one cares. So, mate, tell me of your first meeting with the main protagonist. What’s her name?

Tom: Tillman. Amanda Tillman.

Me: I’m sorry, but I must point out the irony of a woman being called Tillman – in an erotic story!

Tom: Yes, that’s all very – what? Are you dancing? Are you dancing like a little girl?

Me: Yes. Sorry. I can’t help it when confronted by something as deliciously humorous as that. Where were we? Ah. Yes. Tell me your experience with Mandy.

Tom: Well, there’s not much to tell. I had been seeking out a personal secretary for several weeks when the main staff secretary found a woman with a good few qualifications amid the stack of applications and forwarded her to me. To be honest, as I looked over her resume, I thought she was a bit over-qualified, and so not well-fitting to the job, but I was desperate and decided to give her a go. It was yesterday when she came in for the interview.

Me: I see. And what was your first impression of her?

Tom: Boobs. Oh, God, the boobs. And the hips. So luscious. And everything in between. And everything below it. And above it, too.

Me: I’m sure. So what does her face look like?

Tom: Her face? Uh, I, uh….Well, she has lips.

Me: How interesting. Go on.

Tom: Well, she has eyes. Nice eyes. Sparkly eyes. And nice, full, luscious lips that she licked. Uh, where was I? Oh. Right. Well, we bumped into each other in the private elevator. I was surprised by how young she was. I had expected someone older, what with all her qualifications. And, well, I was attracted to her.

Me: You’re blushing, Dick. There’s nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive. As long as you don’t act on it, in the workplace.

Tom: Yeah, about that…

Me: Oh dear. You didn’t sleep with her, did you?

Tom: No, no. I didn’t sleep with her.

Me: That’s good.

Tom: But I did touch her up a bit.

Me: That’s not so good.

Tom: And I asked her out.

Me: That’s starting to get bad.

Tom: And then I asked her to sleep with me.

Me: Ding ding. Now stopping at the Bad level of Hell. Please tuck your balls up between your hips, prepare for a hot poking, and your eyeballs to be served in a salad. The patisserie is on your first right.

Tom: I know. But I couldn’t help myself.

Me: Okay, so talk me through the process.

Tom: Well, I was staring at her quite a bit, and I realised she noticed, and so I said so and complimented her beauty – now, there’s no need for a facepalm. You could have just said Epic Fail – and then I told her a bit about the job, and then offered it to her.

Me: What, just like that?

Tom: Just like that.

Me: Did you not think to ask any probing questions?

Tom: My mind wasn’t doing much thinking at this point – and the only probing I was thinking of, certainly wasn’t about questions.

Me: Fine. What next?

Tom: She accepted. Of course.

Me: Of course. Because you’re such a stud. And with oddly changing eyes. Weird.

Tom: You like that? They’re custom-made to change with my mood. Like mood rings.

Me: Neat. So, she took the job, what then? Orientation?

Tom: I think she’s straight, but with the looks she gave the receptionist I’m hoping she might be bi.

Me: By what?

Tom: Bifocals.

Me: Ah.

Tom: She left for the day. I told her to come back at 8am or so today. She came in early. I took her up to a private room and gave her a review.

Me: Oh? I wouldn’t have thought there’d be a need to give her one.

Tom: Oh, there was a need. Several, in fact. Ahem. Yes. Well. I told her about travel and benefits. I told her, if she played her cards right, she’d get a large wad.

Me: Of cash?

Tom: That, too.

Me: Explain.

Tom: Well, I told her she had several options open to her.

Me: Vaginal, anal…

Tom: Exactly. I told her that secretaries in the past have worked as eye candy and arm holders for clients. I said she could do this if she wanted to.

Me: Oof. that’s a big decision. She didn’t baulk at it?

Tom: There’s more.

Me: There is? Oh, great Sallymungo…

Tom: Well, I could see she was a little reticent, so I made it clear that if she didn’t want it, or the other choice, then it wouldn’t affect her employment.

Me: Is that true?

Tom: Meh *rocks his hand back and forth, palm down, in an ‘it’s iffy’ gesture*

Me: Classy. What was the other offer?

Tom: For her to sleep with me.

Me: Naturally.

Tom: Hey, you haven’t seen her. You wouldn’t be able to resist.

Me: Well, I have been known to have sex with an orange…

Tom: Seriously?

Me: Oh yeah.

Tom: How was it?

Me: A little sticky.

Tom: I can relate…

Me: Speaking of which, I’m afraid my elbow is getting caught on this damp patch on the table. Do you not have any cleaners?

Tom: That’s where she came.

Me: Came where?

Tom: No, that’s where we fooled around.

Me: Like shadow puppets?

Tom: Yeah. Like shadow puppets.

Me: Cool. Can I watch next time?

Tom: Uh, well, I’m up for it, but I’d have to ask her.

Me: Why, doesn’t she like sharing her puppets?

Tom: What?

Me: What what?

Tom: What are you talking about?

Me: What are you talking about?

Tom: Sex.

Me: Oh. Well…can I watch next time?

Tom: Well, I’m up for it, but I’d have to ask her.

Me: Cool. What were we talking about?

Tom: Options. She could sleep with clients, or me, or not at all.

Me: And what was her answer?

Tom: I don’t know, I asked her out to lunch – for in a minute, actually, so if we could hurry this up?

Me: Sure. So what then?

Tom: Well, things got a little heated. She was willing, I could tell, but also reticent.

Me: Why?

Tom: I don’t know, but I figure other ex-bosses have come onto her like that before.

Me: And declined them, perhaps. Seeing as how they’re ex-bosses.

Tom: Exactly.

Me: Maybe she just doesn’t go for Uggos.

Tom: It’s possible.

Me: So you’re not in the clear, then.

Tom: Hey!

Me: Well, at least you’re smart. That can make up for looks.

Tom: You’re doomed, then.

Me: I’ll have you know I have a very high IQ! 106%! Suck it.

Tom: Dude, it’s not measured in percentage.

Me: Oh…

Tom: So…

Me: So, what then?

Tom: Well, I kissed her…and then made her moan.

Me: Oh?

Tom: Yeah, like a wolf.

Me: Oh dear. It’s not one of those stories, is it? With Wolves and vampires and bestiality dreams?

Tom: I don’t think so, no.

Me: Just so as we’re clear. When you say you made her moan like a wolf, you mean…?

Tom: I touched her up in private places until she left puddles on my table and smelled like a whorehouse.

Me: I’m sure I wouldn’t know what that smells like…

Tom: Oh. Crap.

Me: Mwahahahaha.

Tom: Well, I’m off for lunch. Off to get my answer.

Me: Good luck.

Well, that’s it for this week, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed this blog, and I’d also be remiss if I didn’t provide a link to the story, which can be found here. And I hope you enjoy that, too!

This is JV – signing off.