Jingle Balls!

Good morning, my kinky darlings!

Today I must convey a very important message: It is Movember! No, that’s isn’t a misspelling. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, where women – and men. Don’t forget that men can get breast cancer, too – all over the world touch themselves inappropriately, in order to find out errant lumps that shouldn’t be there. Now, November is the month dedicated to men touching themselves up, and having doctors poke things up their rear end, all in order to ensure physical health. Now, Movember is a movement, carried out all over the world, where men grow out a moustache in support of this. From the Movember UK wesbite:

On Movember 1st, guys register at Movember.com with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health. 

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.  

Movember – a global movement
Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne Australia, Movember has grown to become a truly global movement inspiring more than 1.1 Million Mo Bros and Mo Sistas to participate, with formal campaigns in Australia, New Zealand, the US, Canada, the UK, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, South Africa and Ireland. In addition, Movember is aware of Mo Bros and Mo Sistas supporting the campaign and men’s health cause right across the globe, from Russia to Dubai, Hong Kong to Antarctica, Rio de Janeiro to Mumbai, and everywhere in between.

No matter the country or city, Movember will continue to work to change established habits and attitudes men have about their health, to educate men about the health risks they face, getting them to act on that knowledge thereby increasing the chances of early detection, diagnosis and effective treatment. 

In 2010, over 112,000 UK Mo Bros and Mo Sistas got on board, raising £11.7 million.

Big steps have been taken towards changing attitudes and habits relating to men’s health around the world but there is still much to be done to catch up with the women’s health movement. Via the moustache, Movember aims to fulfill its vision of having an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health, by continuing to spark conversation and spread awareness of men’s health each year. (You can also go to the site and click on their About page for further information on the charities and research projects they fund.)

I cannot stress enough how important this movement is. Unlike breast cancer, only men can get prostate cancer, as this walnut-sized gland is found only in men. So, too, for testicles. Unfortunately, you cannot test yourself for prostate cancer, so I can’t write much here. You have to see your doctor, who will insert a lubricated finger up your sweet derriere, as well as perform several tests. That is to say, the inserting of a finger will also be a test. Felt the need to clarify that. But the good news is, it’s worth it. If found in time, it is, in most cases, very treatable. So buck up, men. Swallow that pride. Grow some balls. It’s worth it.

Luckily, you can test yourself for testicular cancer, because it is, primarily, a young man’s disease. Those aged between 15 and 35 are most at risk (thanks to Channel 4 for having a video on this subject, which you can view here, or carry on reading, and I’ll transcribe what the slightly scary doctor woman says). You should be checking your balls around once a month, but sadly less than one in five do. The best time to check is during or after a hot bath or shower, when the muscles are relaxed, and the balls hang lower. Presumably when they waddle to and fro. Now, I’ll do this in list-point form, because it’s easier to read, and makes me look 40% smarter.

• Rest your testicles in the palm of your hand (hand flat, palm up) like a weighing scale, comparing one testicle with the other for equal heaviness.
• It is normal for one testicle to be larger, or hang lower than the other. If you’re a regular masturbator, you’re probably used to them looking and feeling different. This is normal
• At the back of the testicle is a thickening, and this is called the epididymis (luckily, spelling it isn’t necessary in the ball-test) which is the tube that carries your sperm to your penis, so cup your balls, palm covering the front, the back hand facing forwards, and fingers dipping down, under and to the back. This tube is tender, so be gentle. With your fingers behind the scrotum, place your thumb on the front of your balls and gently roll the balls between thumb and fingers.
• You are feeling for small hard lumps, enlargement of the testicles, or firmness. A normal testicle feels oval-shaped and firm, but not hard.

Most testicular cancers are diagnosed by feeling a painless hard lump on the testicle, but there are other signs: look out for pain or discomfort in your scrotum or testicles; a heavy or dragging feels in your scrotum; a dull ache in the lower stomach or groin area; a build up of fluid inside your scrotum; blood in your sperm upon ejaculation; discharge from your penis. These are all signs for this cancer, and are symptoms for other things, but either way they shouldn’t be ignored. This doctor from this video tells me that, upon finding these things, you should, firstly, call your doctor immediately, and secondly, stay calm. Now, I know that second thing is highly unlikely. This is one of man’s worst fears. It’s certainly one of my worst fears. It’s an attack on our own masculinity, and staying calm is not easy. But please don’t let that fear stop you from calling a doctor. You may think that it’s probably nothing. It might be nothing (and is very likely to be nothing more than swelling from an injury or non-cancerous infection), but if you’re looking up on the internet how to test yourself for testicular cancer, then you’re most likely not qualified to make that call, and should see a doctor immediately. That sounds harsh. But … it’s true. Even I didn’t know how to examine myself until I looked it up just now, and I write a freakin’ sex blog! The woman with the scary eyes yet hopefully warm hands agrees. And I wrote that before I’d even got to that part!

Testicular cancer has more than doubled in the last twenty years, but it is one of the easiest to treat. Over 95% of cases are curable – if found early.

Alternatively, if you have a particularly amorous partner, you can always ask her/him to do this test for you. And, in return, you can perform checks for her/him, too! This concludes your school lessons, now, children. Go forth, and fondle! Go and start your Christmas cheer early by jingling your balls! Even if you don’t want to grow a moustache for Movember (after all, facial hair is just so in your face), please make sure you check yourself.

This is JV – signing off.

If you have any thoughts on this post, feel free to post a comment, or join the JE to have your say! If you have a topic you think is worth covering, then you can leave a comment here, or on the JE, too.

Just A Few Quick Thoughts …

Good morning, my kinky miscreants!

Yes, I am back! After a hectic two weeks I’m back! First of all, I’d like to offer wholly sincere apologies for buggering off and leaving my fellow kinkites and kinksters in the dark for two weeks. Sadly, family business arose and that meant my attention was required elsewhere. However! I’d like to thank Zena (and Julesy) from the bottom of my bottom for stepping in last week with their insightful post on the goings-on over at the JE.  Speaking of which, I have news.

Usually this blog, in the first two weeks of each moth, have posts on Blog of the Month, and Story of the Month. However, as things are very much up in the air, I cannot continue these for the time being. Because of this I haven’t chosen a new blog for the former. And, yes, I assure you it’s a complete coincidence that the current Blog of the Month is Zena and Julesywoolsy’s. I swear. Granted, I’m doing so with every appendage crossed, including my balls (EDIT by Jules: JV, make sure you change this before publication, or those balls will be carved out on a spoon and served on a plate). But, in the mean time, feel free to cast your gaze to the right of this post, to look upon the blog-roll. Take your pick and get reading. That’s an order!

Too, as mentioned in the previous post by the ever kind and de-spooned Zena and Jules, the stories are being moved from the JK to Just-Erotic Stories, which will be completed in a month or two, so the Story of the Month competition (and blog post. Thanks. I relied on that to ensure I wouldn’t have to think for the first two weeks!) will not be happening – however, that is only temporarily.

Also, (yes, this post shall contain very many alsos. hopefully a few toos, and at least one thus is included in my contract. I tell you, always read the fine-print) we’re moving. That is, the blog is moving. We (and I use that term very loosely, to make myself sound more important than I really am) are currently building up the site ‘Just-Adult Blogs’, which was also mentioned in the previous post, and when finished we’ll be moving FOTB over to that site. Don’t worry. No content will be lost. But since wordpress is becoming a bit more strict, it’s a good idea to move over. Too, the site (which will be known by the abbreviation of ‘jab’ – I’ve promised myself to restrain from making any rude jab jokes until the site is up) will host not just this blog, FOTB, but anyone else who wants to move their old blog over to the new site, can. Just not yet. I think Jules, Molly, Signs, Kestrel and the others who are working tirelessly behind the scenes already have enough on their plate at the moment, don’t you? Besides, I’ll be happy when this is moved, so I can look up how to properly spell Jules’ nickname of ‘Julesywoolsypumpkinpie’. What? I can do that already? Oh. Well. I – erm – you see – I – oh shush!

Lastly, and perhaps the most exciting of all: we are, officially, a company. That’s right! We’ve become officially official. Look! Go to the Just-Erotica home page and scroll down to the bottom. Don’t worry, it won’t take you long, but look at the bottom! See it?

 2011 Copyright Just-Enterprizes Holdings Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Isn’t it pretty? Though with the American spelling, I see. Tut tut, Jules. (EDIT by Jules: *Waves fig*) Never mind.

That’s it from us, for this week. Do take care, and feel free to sign up to Just-Erotica after the beep.

This is JV – signing off, once again.

Beeeeep. 

Birthday Balls And Hangoveritis

Hello, my kinky readers!

First of all, I must first apologise for taking so long to post the latest edition of this blog (which you can see here, because I’m thoughtful and pimp-whoresque that way), because I’m afraid I was ill. Yes indeedy. I had a sudden unerring and unnerving bout of hangoveritis. Not nice. You become allergic to light, your stomach slowly makes its way up you oesophagus, you come out in a cold sweat that smells strangely of barley (or of rocks. That is what I take the phrase ‘on the rocks’ means. I think you smell of basalt, or something), that you’ve been repeatedly hit over the head with a hamster, and that all you want to do is crawl under the bath’s U-bend and die.

And that was just the Friday. How about you?

Well, my dear kinkettes, the time is now to tell you about the reason for this blog. Now, this is the first of the month issue, so it’s usually about a story or a blog. Not so for this week. Because this is a very special week. It’s a very special birthday week. Yep! The JK is turning 2! Yep, on Friday, 3rd June, the humidity will rise, and the barometer will get low, and, according to sources, the street will be the place to go, because at about half past ten, for the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining men! No, it’s not a sign of the apocalypse (late as usual), but one of the celebrations we have planned at the JK for its birthday! Which, just so as we’re clear, is on the 3rd…(Yes, I did get that wrong in my first draft!)

To celebrate, we’ve a host of festivities and competitions, and first off, we have: the staple that is Moonwytch’s JK &Sex Quiz at the usual time of 10pm UK time on Friday. Beyond that, things get a little crazy. Trust me, that’s normal.

On Saturday, we have a JK Birthday Ball. Regular visitors to the Finger channel will be familiar with the idea of a Chat Ball, for we had our very first Ball last Valentine’s Day…

…But for our new readers, I’ll give you a low-down (no, not that low, dirty perv!): You go to the Chat (available to all, member and non-member alike), with a suitably Birthday-ish sounding name, where you will be announced by Signs, the Master of Chat (or whomsoever he gets to be his minion for the night), and there you get to mingle with your other guests, guestesses, hosts and hostesses, dance and laugh and mingle and spike the cyber-punch bowl. Speaking of Signs, I would be remiss if I didn’t say that he is the one who very ably and expertly made these banners that you see in this blog! Pretty, aren’t they? We even have this video for you. Hope you like it!

The Birthday Ball will commence on Saturday 9pm UK time, onwards. 

Sunday sees the return of Molly’s JK Quiz, so be sure to tune in for that! As well, we have the rescheduling of Pazzo’s Puzzle, ‘I Have Never’ (I do believe I have never detailed that quiz in this blog before. I should perhaps remedy that at some point. Sorry, Pazz!), and they will be on, one after the other, on Sunday from 9pm UK time onwards.

At this point, I should really inform you that we will be having a competition. However, tease that I am, I am merely going to inform you that we will have a competition, but also tell you that you’ll have to wait until the end of this blog to read it! *Pokes tongue out and dances*

Don’t worry, you’ve not got long to wait. I’ve only got one other thing to tell you about! On the forums, a special thread will be created, as if by magic, where members can come together to reminisce about special moments  on the JK or a special memory about the JK. Yes indeedy. Much like when a group of old friends get together, have one too many alcoholic beverages and reminisce about the good old times. And while that comparison may seem disrespectful and off-putting, I use it specifically as a segway into one of my favourite memories – one which happened very recently, I might add. There once was a woman named Venus, who consumed vast sums of alcohol intravenous. She got tipsified, and held the JK mystified, with drunk posts that brought laughter from all of us! Yes, she suffered from Hangoveritis, too. So I hope you stop by and give us one…of your favoured memories! But on this, the beginning of our second year, as JK enters its terrible two and learns its first words of ‘slut’ and ‘tit’, I have this message: Fangs for the mammories! 

Well, that’s it for this week. Oh, yes, how could I have forgotten? The competition. You see, the JK has a photo gallery. With that gallery, a special competition will be held, called, imaginatively, the Special JK Birthday Pics Competition. A birthday Album will be created where you can upload pics. Now, these are very special pics, because the rule is that they must be Birthday related. You must be wearing a Birthday related item (and yes, I am only repeating the word Birthday for the Tagging count. Birthday!), like a bow, wrapping paper, candles, ribbons, balloons, anything Birthday related. Or, maybe, just maybe, your birthday suit! The winner of the competition will be announced in the Chat on Sunday, at the end of the celebrations. I do wonder, though, after all this, will you be suffering from Hangoveritis, too?

Now, then. I hope to see you around, and have a great time! This is JV signing off, and tucking in. 

PS: Some gratuitous inclusions of pictures that I couldn’t fit into the main article!